Sunday, August 29, 2010
Monday, August 9, 2010
AR Strikes Again
I can't help myself. I just have to do this. You know Anonymous Roommate (AR) that I mentioned back in my earlier posts. Well she strikes again (thank goodness we're not roommates anymore though). She posts all her blogs postings on facebook, and being me, I have to read everything that pops up on my news feed. When I saw that she had written a post about writing up a legal form for her roommates, I couldn't help but read it to remind myself why I hated her so much. I will now take excerpts from that amazing blog post.
"For the past three years, I have put up with a whole lot of crap from various roommates.
Don't get me wrong, I've also had a lot of fun with the two Canadians, two Norwegians, one Brazilian and three Americans I've been grouped with but heavens-to-Betsy, can we not all be grown-ups?
How hard can it be to throw away that empty Ramen Noodle package?
To actually take out the trash just once in your life?
Do we not know what a dumpster looks like?
Is it really that difficult to sweep the kitchen floor every so often?
Let alone dream of mopping?
Realize, these were all internal musings. Not once did I lash out upon coming home to a trashed apartment, cleaning it up without a word and then being greeted with a "Thanks for cleaning up, hun. You are just too sweet."
Well ya know what Bucko!?!
If you were really grateful for my services you would've cleaned up after yourself the next time just to save me the trouble.
or the NEXT time.
or the NEXT TIME."
Excerpts of legal form:
"Responsibilities
Each Roommate is responsible for the following:
(a) to comply with all obligations imposed by applicable provisions of the building and housing codes materially affecting health and safety of those occupying the Premises, as well as the Premises itself;
(b) to keep the Premises immaculately clean and in good condition;
(c) to dispose of all solid and semi-solid refuse in a safe and clean manner
(d) to use all electrical, plumbing, sanitary, heating, ventilating, time traveling, air conditioning, and other facilities and appliances in a reasonable manner;
(e) to not intentionally or negligently destroy, deface, damage, impair or remove a part of the Premises or knowingly allow any person to do so;
(f) to conduct herself in a manner that will not disturb the other Roommates or occupants of neighboring properties, excusing special occasions.
5. Groceries and Meal Preparation
please note the following provisions:
(a) the fridge distribution of shelves shall be as follows: top shelf- communal, for all tall beverages/food items, middle & bottoms shelves- split into four equal sections relative to number of roommates, crisper drawer- reserved for all fruits & vegetables, door- communal, for all condiments and sauces.
(b) the top of the fridge will be reserved for cereal boxes and other dry goods as deemed necessary. Any such empty boxes left purposefully with the others will be removed and burnt in effigy.
Cleaning
special requirements:
(a) the microwave must be wiped down, both inside and out, frequently and thoroughly. To prevent large amounts of spillage/popage, food items that are known to be explosive can and must be covered with a paper towel during cook time dang it.
(b) due to its age and materials used, the kitchen floor must be swept and mopped frequently. Preferably a minimum of once each week.
(c) crumbs are strictly forbidden. Roommates must do everything within their power to reduce the appearance of such on both countertops and floors. Proper dishcloth instruction will be provided if experience is limited.
(d) chairs must be returned to perfect alignment under table when no longer being sat upon. If not followed perfectly and with all exactness, guilty parties are invited to sit on the floor.
Borrowing
items left in communal areas, such as DVDs, books, CDs, etc., may be borrowed upon given notice to the owner of said item(s).
5.1 each Roommate shall be responsible for buying her own groceries. No Roommate shall borrow food from another Roommate without her prior consent unless pure unadulterated stealth and deceit are to be utilized. Each Roommate will be allocated separate storage space for her groceries. Each Roommate will prepare her own meals and is responsible for clean-up of the kitchen for her meal preparation immediately following said meal or upon conclusion of any and all get-together
6.1 the Roommates shall be equally responsible for the costs of cleaning supplies and household items such as paper towels, toilet paper, cleaning supplies, trash bags, light bulbs and other similar items.
6.2 the Roommates shall share equally the responsibility for cleaning and maintaining the Premises, including dusting vacuuming, emptying trash, mopping andwaxing floors, cleaning bathrooms and kitchen.
8.2 under no circumstances are certain mischievous persons to enter any other roommate’s room in efforts to destroy the organizational perfection."
Can you see why she drove Janna and me NUTS? This girl was absolutely psycho! About the whole cleaning up after you make your food, well she truly does mean immediately. I would make my dinner and then go into the living room and watch a show while I ate it. Before the show was even over, or before I had even finished my dinner, she had gone into the kitchen and cleaned it. I literally was on the verge of throwing her crap out (and let me tell you it was crap and a whole lot of it) the window. Janna and I talked about it on more than one occasion. She needs some intense therapy.
I just want to ask her if she realizes that the common denominator in her roommate problem is herself. How can you not get along with one of your 12 or so roommates? She was bound to like one of them, statistically speaking, unless she was the one alienating them and was a little out of sync with the rest of the normal-non-ocd part of the population. Let me tell you, it's hard to live with Mr. Clean personified with an oxymoronic quality of being a pack rat. AR, this blog goes out to you and your intense need for psycho therapy!
"For the past three years, I have put up with a whole lot of crap from various roommates.
Don't get me wrong, I've also had a lot of fun with the two Canadians, two Norwegians, one Brazilian and three Americans I've been grouped with but heavens-to-Betsy, can we not all be grown-ups?
How hard can it be to throw away that empty Ramen Noodle package?
To actually take out the trash just once in your life?
Do we not know what a dumpster looks like?
Is it really that difficult to sweep the kitchen floor every so often?
Let alone dream of mopping?
Realize, these were all internal musings. Not once did I lash out upon coming home to a trashed apartment, cleaning it up without a word and then being greeted with a "Thanks for cleaning up, hun. You are just too sweet."
Well ya know what Bucko!?!
If you were really grateful for my services you would've cleaned up after yourself the next time just to save me the trouble.
or the NEXT time.
or the NEXT TIME."
Excerpts of legal form:
"Responsibilities
Each Roommate is responsible for the following:
(a) to comply with all obligations imposed by applicable provisions of the building and housing codes materially affecting health and safety of those occupying the Premises, as well as the Premises itself;
(b) to keep the Premises immaculately clean and in good condition;
(c) to dispose of all solid and semi-solid refuse in a safe and clean manner
(d) to use all electrical, plumbing, sanitary, heating, ventilating, time traveling, air conditioning, and other facilities and appliances in a reasonable manner;
(e) to not intentionally or negligently destroy, deface, damage, impair or remove a part of the Premises or knowingly allow any person to do so;
(f) to conduct herself in a manner that will not disturb the other Roommates or occupants of neighboring properties, excusing special occasions.
5. Groceries and Meal Preparation
please note the following provisions:
(a) the fridge distribution of shelves shall be as follows: top shelf- communal, for all tall beverages/food items, middle & bottoms shelves- split into four equal sections relative to number of roommates, crisper drawer- reserved for all fruits & vegetables, door- communal, for all condiments and sauces.
(b) the top of the fridge will be reserved for cereal boxes and other dry goods as deemed necessary. Any such empty boxes left purposefully with the others will be removed and burnt in effigy.
Cleaning
special requirements:
(a) the microwave must be wiped down, both inside and out, frequently and thoroughly. To prevent large amounts of spillage/popage, food items that are known to be explosive can and must be covered with a paper towel during cook time dang it.
(b) due to its age and materials used, the kitchen floor must be swept and mopped frequently. Preferably a minimum of once each week.
(c) crumbs are strictly forbidden. Roommates must do everything within their power to reduce the appearance of such on both countertops and floors. Proper dishcloth instruction will be provided if experience is limited.
(d) chairs must be returned to perfect alignment under table when no longer being sat upon. If not followed perfectly and with all exactness, guilty parties are invited to sit on the floor.
Borrowing
items left in communal areas, such as DVDs, books, CDs, etc., may be borrowed upon given notice to the owner of said item(s).
5.1 each Roommate shall be responsible for buying her own groceries. No Roommate shall borrow food from another Roommate without her prior consent unless pure unadulterated stealth and deceit are to be utilized. Each Roommate will be allocated separate storage space for her groceries. Each Roommate will prepare her own meals and is responsible for clean-up of the kitchen for her meal preparation immediately following said meal or upon conclusion of any and all get-together
6.1 the Roommates shall be equally responsible for the costs of cleaning supplies and household items such as paper towels, toilet paper, cleaning supplies, trash bags, light bulbs and other similar items.
6.2 the Roommates shall share equally the responsibility for cleaning and maintaining the Premises, including dusting vacuuming, emptying trash, mopping andwaxing floors, cleaning bathrooms and kitchen.
8.2 under no circumstances are certain mischievous persons to enter any other roommate’s room in efforts to destroy the organizational perfection."
Can you see why she drove Janna and me NUTS? This girl was absolutely psycho! About the whole cleaning up after you make your food, well she truly does mean immediately. I would make my dinner and then go into the living room and watch a show while I ate it. Before the show was even over, or before I had even finished my dinner, she had gone into the kitchen and cleaned it. I literally was on the verge of throwing her crap out (and let me tell you it was crap and a whole lot of it) the window. Janna and I talked about it on more than one occasion. She needs some intense therapy.
I just want to ask her if she realizes that the common denominator in her roommate problem is herself. How can you not get along with one of your 12 or so roommates? She was bound to like one of them, statistically speaking, unless she was the one alienating them and was a little out of sync with the rest of the normal-non-ocd part of the population. Let me tell you, it's hard to live with Mr. Clean personified with an oxymoronic quality of being a pack rat. AR, this blog goes out to you and your intense need for psycho therapy!
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